Corporate Job Descriptions

CEO

Leaps tall buildings in a single bound

Is more powerful than a locomotive

Is faster than a speeding bullet

Walks on water

Gives Policy to God

Project Manager

Leaps short buildings in a single bound

Is more powerful than a switch engine

Is just as fast as a speeding bullet

Walks on water if sea is calm

Talks to God

Senior Analyst

Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds

Is almost as powerful as a switch engine

Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool

Talks with God if special permission is approved

Systems Analyst

Barely clears a Quonset hut

Loses tug of war with a switch engine

Can fire a speeding bullet

Swims well

Is occasionally addressed by God

Programmer Analyst

Makes high marks on walls when trying to leap tall buildings

Is run over by locomotives

Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury

Calls swimming "Staying Alive In The Water"

Talks to animals

Programmer

Runs into buildings

Recognizes locomotives two out of three times

Is not issued ammunition

Can stay afloat with a life jacket

Talks to walls

Barks at the moon

Project Clerk

Falls over doorstep when trying to enter building

Says look at the choo-choo

Wets himself with a water pistol

Plays in mud puddles

Mumbles to himself

Executive Secretary

Lifts buildings and walks under them

Kicks locomotives off the tracks

Catches speeding bullets in her teeth and eats them

Freezes water with a single glance

She is god!

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